I don't mind my partner's laugh when we're alone together. But when we're with friends or out in public it almost seems exaggerated and fake -- not to mention crazy loud. It's pretty embarrassing when we're around others. What should I do?
Don’t go out in public together! I wonder why the volume is what it is. If your partner isn’t a loud talker, it seems the laughter volume would remain the same.
Though, I have heard that in groups, people typically laugh louder (for instance, at a comedy club) because everyone around them is doing the same. It makes sense. When I watch a funny TV show by myself at home, I rarely laugh out loud. If I'm watching with a group of people, I typically do laugh out loud.
Now, back to you.
If volume is an issue, just go to louder places like sports bars where the laughter won’t stick out as much. If it’s a comedy club, that’ll fit in there, too. At the same time, there’s nothing wrong with giving a tap on the leg or a casual, “OK, shhhh” as you laugh along with your partner. You don’t want to call it out as if your partner is doing something wrong. (Would you rather it be loud laughter or loud talking/yelling in public?)
If it’s embarrassing to you, that might also be your issue, not your partner’s. What’s wrong with someone laughing and having a good time? Do you think your partner having a good time is a reflection on you? Well, it should be and people will look at you two as the happy couple.
If it’s simply the noise level, just do a quick, “Hey, a little quieter” if the setting calls for it. The fact that you’ve made it an issue – especially one to seek advice on – makes me think it’s more than just a volume thing for you – that’s right, for YOU.