My partner recently noticed that I still follow my ex on social media. He insists that I unfollow but I don't see it to be an issue. Should I be more concerned that he's trying to control me or is it jealousy that could end up being toxic to the relationship?
You’re asking me to assess a lot of assumptions without knowing the background and full story.
First, how long has the relationship been over, how did it end, was somebody the “bad guy” to make it end, and is the ex in a new relationship? OK, maybe that’s first, second, third and fourth.
Second – or fifth – is there something specific about the ex that he doesn’t like? Meaning, were you mistreated in that relationship? Is the ex not over you? Is there something the current partner is hung up on?
Third – or sixth – is your partner a jealous person about other things? If a restaurant server gets a little flirty with you, will he say something or have a reaction? Does he ask you a million questions if you get a text from someone? If you’re late coming home from work, does he want to know where you were?
It comes down to how controlled you feel with his actions and comments. If it’s feeling possessive, put your foot down and remind him that he doesn’t own you. Communicate that you’re loyal to him and that there’s nothing wrong with having a civil relationship with an ex. Believe it or not, some people can still be friends long after their relationship ended – and/or failed miserably.
As for toxicity in the relationship, that’s for you to decide. I don’t know enough to draw that conclusion. Is he on you about other things or just something trivial like who you follow online? If it’s that petty – your partner telling you who you can and can’t follow online – that’s telling me a lot about the relationship. Again, without knowing more, I’m merely guessing with every sentence I type.
Overall, people pay too much attention to social media. It's probably one of the biggest relationship killers nowadays. Will yours be a victim? It might just be if you don't take control of your life.