We’ve all been tempted to steal at some point in our life. Whether we did it or not is another story. For our little Tanner, he has a habit of stealing without realizing it. (Allegedly. Do we have to say allegedly so he doesn’t get charged with something?)
Tanner is a fumbler. It means that he does a bunch of things at once and usually fails at most of them. Think of holding the grocery bags while looking for your keys as you attempt to open the car door. Doing all those things at once can be tricky at the best of times but for the Tan Man it shouldn’t be attempted in the first place.
So, when Tanner is tasked with unloading his shopping cart at the checkout, scanning the merchandise, and bagging everything – you know, stuff an actual store employee should do, but I won’t get into that – our absent-minded friend can easily forget where he is in the process when the pressure is on.
It’s happened a few times where Tanner gets home only to realize he either left a bag at the store or forgot to scan an item that somehow got mixed in with his paid merchandise. This is perhaps why he was stopped as he exited a store a few weeks ago. Are they onto him? Is security tracking him from the second he steps into the place?
With his items scanned and bagged, Tanner grabbed the receipt and headed out the door. Following close behind was an in-store security guard looking like he was dressed for combat. (Are those bullet-proof vests and tactical gear?) Tanner, confused about the attention he was getting, curiously asked what the problem was. He was asked for his receipt and without hesitation handed it to the security guy.
After examining the transaction record, the employee noticed a small broom sticking out of the cart wasn’t on the list. Questioning Tanner about the omission, our sticky-fingered pal said it was an oversight. Challenged about how he could forget to scan an item that didn’t fit into any of the bags and was sticking far out of the cart for everyone to see, Tanner had no reasonable explanation – save for that he’s an idiot.
“I guess because I was focused on the bags in the cart and didn’t notice the tiny black pole that was mostly underneath the cart,” Tanner offered.
Thinking himself a charmer, Tan wondered aloud why he would steal the cheapest item of his entire order when he legitimately bought so much expensive stuff. With a zinger, the security guard suggested that Tanner couldn’t afford everything and that’s why.
“What would you like me to do?” Tanner questioned. He was told to give back the broom – without the option of purchasing it – and never return to the store.
Worth noting: Tanner is a ginger so…