My partner has taken up cooking but he's not good at it. I pretend that I like his food but I really don't. Do I keep lying or do I tell him it sucks?
I actually just had this discussion with the guys in the office! We were talking about when – if ever – it’s OK to lie to your partner. And this came up. In fact, we were divided on the issue.
We agreed that sometimes a lie is OK to spare a partner’s feelings. We also agreed that giving constructive criticism will make a partner better – in this case, at cooking – and ultimately have you benefit from a decent homecooked meal.
So, it’s twofold. Lying isn’t going to make them better at the craft. And you’ll be stuck eating nasty food. As we talked it through, some of us changed our minds and realized that it’s all in how you address this.
First, is your partner asking for your opinion of the food? That can be awkward because you don’t want to say it’s terrible. So, for sparing feelings when you’re put on the spot, lying seems like the right thing to do in the moment. But, if your feedback isn’t being solicited, there’s nothing wrong with taking a proactive approach and participating in the cooking experiments.
Second, if your partner is making dishes you’re familiar with, you can offer up your own twist on how to prepare it. “That’s great that you use (insert ingredient here), but you know what I use? I use (insert ingredient here) because (insert reason so as to educate here).” See what I did there? Positive response to their technique while telling them what you like and encouraging them to try it and then saying why you do/use it as a reinforcing conclusion.
In the end, I say it’s fine to lie when you’re put on the spot if you’re willing to later get involved and help your partner improve their chef-ery.