Club Buff Launch Party!

Josh was getting his hair cut by our stylist (shoutout to Rachel!) and we had a camera trained on him. It took him a while to notice he was being filmed (which is odd considering he's involved in the Canadian broadcasts that use cameras with a red light to indicate recording!) and the other when he had what we call a bubble malfunction. In short: he had a tough time blowing.

So, to nerd it up, we asked Josh to share his five favorite words with us.

JOSH:

1. Bookkeeper - It is the only word in the English language with three double letters: ookkee

2. Nevertheless - The actual meaning has nothing to do with the three words. It does not mean never, it does not mean less and the is just randomly between the two words.

3. Literally - So many people misuse it that I should not like the word but I get a kick out of how many people slip it in instead of "really" or "totally" or whatever word they substitute. "It literally broke my heart" - if it did, you'd be dead. You would literally be dead.

4. Every day/everyday - This is another that I see businesses get wrong all the time. I actually take pictures of store signage and send them to our writing team when the words are mixed up because it is amazing that trained marketing or communications people get it wrong. "This everyday kitchen item is $10 every day."

5. Lose - I just can't get over how many people use loose instead of lose.

MARCH 12

Today's special guest is -- drum roll, please -- Tanner!

He came to us as a ginger but we didn't hold it against him too long. It's mostly cleared up now and his hair is a normal color thanks to the, probabaly, dangerous exposure to the California sun. For those who think being a red head can't be beat, maybe try this!

Anyhow, Tanner is usually the first one awake every morning and we don't know where he gets the energy. Before you think it's coffee, it's long before he has a cup. Typically, our mornings are quiet and slow going. We've joked about it on Instagram that we wake up at the crack of 10:30 most days. Somehow TanTan is up long before that and accomplishing little tasks. In fact, this intro was written last night so that he could write his response before we wake up this morning. (No way were we waking up at 5 a.m. to do this. Bitch, please!)

We're not a group of talkers in the morning. It takes us a while to ease into the day. We like it quiet. There's no music, no TV, no papers shuffling. Sometimes the clink of a fork on a breakfast plate breaks the silence and makes us jump.

The problem with Tan's early rising (no jokes, please) is that he's up long before us so he's in a talkative mood because he's been alone for so long. For us, we're like, "Oh my god, stop talking. We've been up for 10 minutes." And when he had very red hair it seemed even more annoying for some reason. Dunno why it just was.

Tanner is a goofy traveler and his section in Club Buff recaps his different adventures throughout the country. For now, let's have him tell you why he likes pissing off people.

Here's Tanner.

TANNER:

Wow, such a friendly welcome to this new app! I don't know that I'm annoying so much as just silly and playful. I like making myself laugh when it's at someone else's expense.

For instance, if I'm walking down a sidewalk and there's someone 20 feet in front of me, I'll do an attention-getting whistle or shout with a muffled voice "Hey!" and when they look back I've got my head down as I play on my phone, pretending it wasn't me even though no one else is around.

On phone calls, I skip words in sentences to make it sound like the audio is cutting out. I've seen that on TV shows so I can't take credit for it but it's definitely fun to screw with people. "Yeah, that's fine, I'll meet you at _______ at about ______ and we can go ________ for ______ after if you want. Alright, sounds good to me so tell me when you get there. Bye." I don't give them a chance to say anything and I just end the call as if I confirmed plans with them.

I also like to call people and freak them out by saying I just got somewhere to meet them. "Hey, just got to the restaurant. Which table are you at?" They'll have no idea what I'm talking about and I just keep it going. "We're meeting up today. Are you really not here? Did you seriously forget?" And then I'll start acting pissed off and either make them feel guilty or it starts an argument. Once it's drawn out to an awkward length I'll break character and say, "Nah, just screwing with you. Gotta go. Bye."

Anyhow, I do love to travel but it's tough to find people to go with me and perhaps it's because of everything I just typed! I generally travel alone which I find interesting. Watching The Amazing Race seems maddening so it's best to go on my own and do what I want, when I want.

MARCH 11, 7:34 P.M.

It's always a good time with Drewsy -- or Officer Spreadem -- whichever you prefer to call him. He could be available in costume for parties or Tuesday mornings if you want to send a proposal.

ALSO: It sounds like Apple users are having problems with subscriptions in the app. We've reached out to Apple for support and they're currently looking into it. Thanks for letting us know. It's a little embarrassing to have that roadblock right after we launch but everything tested fine pre-launch so this caught us off guard. We'll get there. We will!

MARCH 11, 1:12 P.M.

Challenge: accepted!

This morning, we challenged Drew to share his fave Buff Boy shot and one he never wants to see again. But he couldn't decide on two. He settled for three -- and two of them he doesn't like. See if you agree!

He explains his choices.

DREW:

My favorite shot is Officer Spreadem from the Halloween party. It was a different kind of photoshoot because it's obviously not regular fashion or fitness. They let us run wild through a Hollywood costume shop and put together outfits and looks. Initially I had a red devil face and blood all over my body (I thought it looked really good) but shortly after there was a violent world event so we scrapped the shots out of respect for the victims. My other look happened to be Officer Spreadem. I liked it at first but think I loved it after people enjoyed it and commented so much. It's hard to tell in the moment when you're taking a bunch of pics one after the other. You just hear the camera clicking and before you know it they have 75 shots of almost the same thing but with slight movements and changes.

My least favorite was a choice between two. The first was when I was being silly one morning and did a flex for the camera. It was spontaneous and meant to be goofy but when I saw it my chest looked like it was caving in and I was deflating or something. It wasn't very flattering. 

My other shot was from last fall when we did the Re-Buff campaign and they stripped us down for new kinds of photos. Lots of underwear and swimwear. They got us all in different styles and colors of swimsuits, sent us outside and started moving us around. I readjusted the suit a couple of times because of the angle I was standing at. I noticed when I was on the end of the row I was sort of turned and had my pelvis out a bit and things were pointed maybe a bit more than they should have been. Of course, when you're wearing a bold color in something tight and skimpy the eye naturally goes there. For me this was maybe a little too revealing in the sense it was giving more than I wanted to. Maybe people liked it, I dunno.

MARCH 11, 9:08 A.M.

Our Launch Party is going longer than a Cher farewell tour! (Not that one, the other one. No, the other one. The other one. Yes, that one!)

Drew is joining us today as a special guest. He's been here for a few years but you guys only took notice of him as Officer Spreadem when we did our fun Buffoween costume party. (Tight leather pants, chest showing. Remember?)

Since Drew has been a model (like the rest of us) for a long time, we're giving him a challenge: post your most-favorite and least-favorite pic as a Buff Boy. Every model has those photoshoots where they're like, "Damn, look at me!" And others where they're like, "Damn, look at me..."

So, will Drew have the balls to share with the class? Stay tuned!

MARCH 10, 9:12 P.M.

We haven't done a trivia  question today so let's get to one now. Since Gabe is our special guest, it's about him.

How closely have you been reading the content on here? (Not just gawking at our fleshy hotness. Do some damn reading, too! Spoiler: none of the trivia questions are about our bodies. Although maybe we'll do that for our anniversary or something.)

Here's the next trivia question. Remember, the answers are in this app. There's nothing to Google. Email your answer clubbuff@buffboybrewing.com

MARCH 10, 8:52 P.M.

There's not much drama that happens at Buff Loft in West Hollywood but if you've been with us on Instagram for a while, you heard about Gabe's haircut scandal last year. Now, for the first time ever, in his own words -- a confession of sorts -- Gabe explains the haircut that was mocked around the world.

GABE:
We were having an incredibly hot stretch of weather and it was really getting to me. I have thick hair and so my head was getting sweaty and then it started making me want to scratch all the time. After a workout, I was heading back to the house and I was still hot from the gym and that multiplied even more with the temperature outside. In that moment I thought I needed a shorter haircut as we were just about to start summer.

We're all very familiar with the numbers of hair razors. (Any of us knows our numbers. If the side of our hair is 4 or the back bottom third is a 2, etc.) The average person getting a haircut is usually asked "finger length?" or "an inch off the top?" and shown by the stylist with your hair between their fingers how much would be taken off and how much would remain. Our stylist knows our preferences and she recommends things depending on if we have photoshoots coming up. Because my idea fell outside of a work-related style, I went on my own and had someone cut my hair.

Without thinking I mixed up the numbers (I don't even remember what I told the guy to give me), I let him start razoring my hair and not the usual scissors cuts we get with razoring at the end. In the moment, as you're sitting there, you're talking or watching TV or reading something so you're not always paying attention to what's happening. And it's also hard to tell how much is being taken off all around because you're not seeing the top of your head or the back in the moment. Yes, you're seeing your face and the bit of hair near your forehead and on the sides by your ears but it's hard to tell what's actually come off.

Since he started with the back and sides, there was no indication he was taking a lot off because I couldn't see it. When we got to the top and he was getting closer to the front of my head I was like, "Oh shit, I'm not sure he's doing this right." And because it wasn't one of the regular people who does our hair (this was someone I'd never met before) I didn't want to say, "Hold on a second, did you give me the wrong numbers?" or "um, stop, this is too short, what are you doing?" At one point I did a slight laugh and said, "Wow, it's pretty short, hey?" And he said yeah. He sensed something was wrong and he told me he was shaving to the numbers I told him. And in hair terms: 6 is different than 4, 4 is different than 2, and 6 is waaaaay different than 2. He was doing what I told him but I got the numbers wrong. He didn't question me because I told him my head was getting too hot and I wanted to lose the long hair. He was doing what I told him.

After the cut, my hair was significantly shorter (obviously) and it came as a surprise to everyone because, as you've seen, we're all pretty into our hair. And with this job, because we're also under model contract, we can't go and make changes to our bodies without permission. That might sound controlling but if they're lining up work for us and the client requires someone with this color hair or facial hair or certain length of hair or whatever and we've been pitched as having those exact features and get the job based on that, we're in heaps of trouble if we suddenly show up not looking like that.

Several of the guys were in Brazil to visit Leo as he was shooting his fitness TV show so I wasn't hit with the mocking right away. But they came at me endlessly for weeks because it was such a change. In the end, I didn't get in trouble for it (whew) but I learned my lesson not to get unscheduled haircuts without consulting management!

It grew back, it's fine. We're good.

MARCH 10, 4:11 P.M.

With Gabe being our special guest today we want you to get to know him better. But, we live with the dude so we know all about him. We challenged him to share some stuff that would be new to us, too.

"What are five things most people don't know about you?"

Take it away, Gabey!

1. I desperately wanted to learn to speak Italian as a kid because I thought when you speak a language you develop that accent and I always found an Italian accent sexy. I never learned the language but I think got the sexiness at least.

2. I love the smell of oranges and the taste of oranges/orange juice but I don't like eating an actual orange. Something about the texture is creepy to me. [COLLIN: We knew this already but I'll allow the answer.]

3. I have a weird ability to remember where I was when I said something. If we're having a conversation and I reference something we talked about before, I will recall the moment (we were in a store, or in the car, or out for a walk and where we were walking at the exact time) we discussed whatever it was. But I lose track of things that happened a few hours ago sometimes. If I said something though, I will remember when, where and how.

4. I have never watched Star Wars.

5. I once had a goal to read 365 books in one year but quickly realized it would involve never sleeping and it wouldn't be worth the minimal fame I would garner from briefly going viral if I ever succeeded.

MARCH 10, 11:14 A.M.

We thought the Launch Party would just be for the weekend but we've had so much fun playing with the app that we're keeping it going!

Leo joined us yesterday and was popular (is he still winning the swimsuit competition against Happy Bulge's Kyle? Scroll down if you missed it!)

Gabe joins us today. He's the newest recruit to the Buff team, with us for two of the past four years, but we kinda love him like he's one of the OGs!

ICYMI- Gabe made scandalous headlines last year when he got an unauthorized haircut that had him relentlessly mocked for months. (Click over to Randal's Scandals for the story.) It's since grown back and he likely won't make that mistake again. Well, he better not!

Outside of Gabe's questionable hair choices, he's got a mixed fashion sense and disastrous dance moves. But... he's a good sport when it comes stripping down for the camera so we keep him around.

We'll be sharing more about Gabe throughout the day so it'll be a fun chance to get to know the Gabester a little more.

Without further ado, here's your Monday laugh: Gabe "dancing"